Sunday, May 20, 2007

Married , seperated and not looking

For those of you that are married and may be going thru problems in life, let me give you a little advise. Do not let it get you down. No matter how sad things make you and no matter how much you love someone, you have to look out for yourself. From the time I was seventeen till now I was devoted to one person. That was 23 years of my life. When our marraige broke up I thought it was the end of the world. And I still do sometimes, but not as much as I did before. I could not see myself going thru life without the one that I loved. It was the most difficult scenerio to imagine. But I have made it thru so far. You see there is no doubt in my mind that I love my wife my than anything in the world(except my little girl). And I will always feel that way. In my eyes she can do no wrong. What I had the most problem with is figuring out why she stopped loving me. I spend a lot of time trying to
please bang my wife. I was obsessed with it. Then one day I realized that it did not matter why. The fact is, she made her decision and there is basically nothing I can do about it. Now do not get me wrong about this, I would climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest ocean, or get on a airplane(which I have never done) just to prove how much I love her. But deep down inside I think she knows. Her decision was one that changed my life forever. It also affected our little girls. But did it change me? No I am still the same Dwayne that she married, and I still believe that it was our destiny to be together. No matter what the outcome will be, that is the way my heart leads me. I have started a new journey in my life, a journey that is without the one that I love. I am at peace with myself now. But no matter where my journey takes me, I will always carry her with me in my heart. She does not have to love me, for me to love her. I love you Cheryl.